Tijuana Gringo | by Michael Thomas |
Nestor sits in a corner of the downtown cantina, one empty caguama* on his table, another soon to follow. You ask permission to join him. He smiles and waves at the empty chair beside him.
How's this, how's that, how're you, etcetera, dance and wheel their usual formalitites and courtesies of conversation commencement. You order a beer for yourself. Settle back and wonder where today's talk will go. Remember he said last week his wife was crossing over to the other side*.
-- Have you heard from her? -- you ask.
-- Yes. She got there, thank God. But.... --
Spot a touch of moisture struggling not to cross over from the corner of his eye.
He sees you see the edges of his teardrop. Leans forward. -- My heart is weeping -- he says, -- but I won't cry outside. --
Switches into English. The men at the next table, behind his back, shift their position slightly. You both know them, and that they can't understand him now, but still he leans forward and his quiet tone barely reaches your ear above the rumbling juke box sounding off about perico, gallo y chivo.*
You will not write what he tells you. Never. Not because you don't want to, no. Because he tells you not to. Because he knows you are a writer, but still wants you to understand the pain the blossoms from his heart. To understand, but to tell no one else the details of his bloody thorns.
Such a gift must be accepted, and honored. So this is all you will write here or anywhere. Nothing more. Except what he tells you you may write: that he misses his wife very much and worries about her. That is all you will say here.
Halfway through his history, Nestor excuses himself, stands up, and staggers away to the bathroom. When he returns....
When he returns, the poet pseudo-anthropolologist will have died, and only the phoenix friend been born in these ashes of ink and paper.
Tijuanthropological Glossary :
"caguama" = 1. sea turtle, 2. large bottle of Tecate brand beer. [N.b.: Pacifico brand large bottles are called "ballenas" (whales).] --
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"al otro lado, to the other side" = to the U.S. -- back
"perico, gallo y chiva" = parrot, rooster, and goat, narco-slang names for cocaina, mariguana, y heroina. Popular songs of drugdealers and their deathly adventures are often called "narco corridos." [Michael stays clear of the business itself (TOO DANGEROUS and he likes to keep his thoughts clear) but he cannot ignore the popular language and art/culture] -- back